A Consistent Perspective

You were swimming in soup, more like drowning really. Grasping for an edge to cling to, gasping for air to breathe, hoping for a better outcome. In a word, you were desperate.

Too many thoughts. It's a small head, how can there be so many thoughts whipping around in there? It's bigger on the inside, like a TARDIS.

Come to think of it, you could use a doctor. Life spinning out of control through the universe, again like a TARDIS.

Work on the metaphors, kid. Your words are pretty, but you can't compare everything to one thing.

Well, yeah, that's a weakness. A known bug, as they say in the software business. A fix is in the works, but first we have to isolate the problem. What is the issue's scope? What triggers it? Diagnosis is harder than it looks.

So anyway, you had a soup metaphor. Then there was the TARDIS. And now software. Why not just pick one of those and stick with it?

Sure, that would be the logical solution, but life isn't so simple. It's more like—

No, you don't get to do that anymore. Metaphor abuse is a crime.

Is it, though? Is it really?

It ought to be.

Possibly, but we're talking about what is, not what ought to be.

Semantics.

Not really. If it's not actually a crime, there can be no punishment.

Like that novel by the Russian guy.

Nice metaphor, jackass.

Thanks, I learn from the best.

That smacks of insincerity, but what can you do?

I'll tell you what you can do, kid. Try again tomorrow and don't suck. And if you do suck, don't pull me into the interior monolog of what might be the worst dreck you've ever written.

No promises. Soup would be good. And a consistent perspective.